Princess Chi-Chi Kackerot

A decision made in attempt to help cure Jonathon's insane & very real Xbox addiction brought to our family Princess Chi-Chi. I never imagined I'd own a girl dog, but our boy is so cute & some extra income in the years to come will obviously be helpful soooo... we bought Kackerot a fiance ;) she's a blue pitbull with baby blue eyes and a little brown bridle on her undercarriage. She's as unique looking as she is in character. 

Now, she may have only got Fraz off the addiction box for a few days.. however, I don't regret the rescue at all! We adopted her at 4 weeks as her parents were fighting over the pups. Right away, she was this amazing little pup that was already potty trained! However, two weeks ago, she'd wake me up in the middle of the night biting my nose & growling in my face to go outside. This obviously would have been much more painful (& scary) if she was doing this at 8+ weeks. But, getting her so young..we've already taught her to lick me when she has to go out instead of bite.

Now, she's sleeping through the night. Wakes me up every morning between 5&6 licking & whining instead of biting & growling and during the day when she has to go, she just starts running in circles around my feet, licking my toes if I happen to be standing still enough.

Have you ever heard of such an easy, well behaved pup?? She is amazing... then again, she's learning everything she knows about being a big dog from Kackerot who, just happens to be the best dog in the world so she's receiving spectacular modeling ;)

As for Jonathon... well, he's still in the dog house, playing the Xbox for 14 hours at a time. But, at least I have a new friend to distract me from caring as much & now I don't have to buy him the Xbox One for his birthday and further enable this ridiculous addiction that turns him into a zombie. So, I can't complain. Life could be much worse, of that I am aware.

Life is good & my children (even the pups) are great!! Welcome to the family Princess Chi-Chi

Princess Peyton

What a wonderful two weeks we got to spend with Peyton& Sully for their birthdays. I couldn't be happier with the relationship& bond I have with my niece& my nephew. I love them both like they are my own children yet I am also so happy my sister is no longer working and is able to stay home& spend time with them as I did this past year. She has only been off work for a few weeks, but the kids behaviors and moods are already so positively affected. Plus, I know she is no longer missing all the awesomeness that her wonderful children bring to each day.

Having said all that, I am also super grateful to have my bed back to myself this week& delighted with the potential each of my days will bring having had a good night's sleep..so far so good. I'm up before the sun rise& not wishing the opposite ;)

Good morning & happy Monday blogtopia!

Single...

I'm wondering how different my life would be if I was single & I'm thinking not that much?? This week has been particularly hard because of that damn game grand theft auto, but even before that game came into our lives taking with it all of Fraz's sleep this week, our money budgeted for a date night & our poker night this evening because he will be in a catch up sleep coma his entire weekend off, even before all that... his presence is so near non-existent it borderlines on negligence.

I miss having a partner.. an adult to share my life with.. yes, I have a roommate that helps pay the bills but I can count on one hand the number of nights we have slept in bed together at the same time in months!

I hate the Xbox & all that it takes from him when he goes on binges & honestly pray that he doesn't let it take his entire family from him... we miss him enough as it is & then you add to that an attitude from lack of sleep & I'm left with a chip on my shoulder, a cold bed & pensive blog entry.

Ok.. pity party over.. as my great grandfather pa honey  always said, everything will work out exactly as it should, worry not. I hope you are right pa honey & Jonathon can figure this one out on his own because venting aside, I refuse to bitch (at him)... I'm not his mother & more importantly I am too proud to beg...for attention!! No way! I'm sure there are people that would be happy to hang out with me if i do become too bored sitting in bed alone much longer!

Creative depletion

Have you ever felt so incredibly depleted of creative energy you begin to wonder whether you ever had any to begin with?

I look around my house and see paintings that I've created. I browse through old journals & read poetry, narratives & memoirs in my handwriting. Yet, holding a paint brush in one hand & a pencil in the other, I see no picture, hear no words.

I'm almost certain this is due to exhaustion. So, at 8 pm this old, creative-less lady will head to bed with prayers of inspiration in her heart.

Goodnight blogtopia... wish me an early rise full of new ideas to fill my days with beauty & originality.

Time to get busy!!

Nothing makes me happier than putting a smile on a child's face! Well, over the next 9 months, I will have plenty of chances to do just that! Not only will I have Briley full-time this year for preschool & therapy combined, I will also have Jace 4 days a week, Colt & Drew 3 days a week & probably a few other random kids as well. Hopefully, Peyton & sully some weekends & of course, never forgotten queen princesses Caitlin& Madi!!

Bottom line ... I may not be able to be in a classroom full-time anymore, but my home will become a part-time classroom for a few hours a day, five days a week!

I am ecstatic to share my gifts with the little ones and although this may be different from middle school in so many ways, I will be teaching nonetheless! I've instructed Jonathon to listen carefully and stop me immediately if he hears me solving quadratic equations on the chalkboard. Besides that, I think this year is going to be a fun adventure for us all.

Wish us luck & apologizing in advance if my blog entities get very toddlerese.

Picture me...

Laying beside Peyton with the heating pad on my back & that is what I can confidently call, the BEST NAP EVER!!

I have to take advantage of these days when they come around, not often, because when they do.. they are the best!

Ssh...Everyone is still sleeping too ! I may  just crawl back in there!!

Momsomnia

Is it called insomnia when it's a whole gang of kids that keep you up all night??

Some on your mind because they start school today for the first time. Some of them in your home, deciding in the middle of the night, to play musical beds. And others in your bed, literally, kicking you in the face??

I don't think so.. insomnia would definitely imply that some inward issues were keeping you up all night.

I have momsomnia ... the inability to sleep because of children!!

Shakespeare!! (Did you know that Shakespeare invented over 3,000 words and phrases in his writing? Complex things like 'green eyed monster' referring to the concept of jealousy. He even coined words like 'liveable' by simply putting together two words that made sense as one.

So, as I told my students every time I purposefully (or accidentally mostly) made up a word SHAKESPEARE!! ;)

I hope my momsomnia is cured by an afternoon nap!!

Happy Birthday Caitlin Rose

14 years ago, I was 19 years old and very lost. When I found out I was pregnant, I became found instantly! Knowing I was becoming a mother gave my life purpose. The day Caitlin was born, 13 years ago today on August 25, she looked into my eyes with her huge green eyes and saw right through me. I felt like I had known her my whole life and I knew from that moment on, my life would never be the same. I stayed home with her for the 1st 9 months of her life and during that time, rocking her to sleep, I figured out exactly how to become the mother she deserved.

When she was 9 months old, I began taking classes at the community college. Two years later, I was graduating with my AA and giving birth to her little sister (whom she begged me for) and yes.. I did both in the same month!! I was standing on stage, 10 months pregnant giving the graduation speech for the Honors Academy and a week later gave birth to Madi Love. A few short months later, I began working on my BA at UMBC. I graduated 15 months later and began teaching right away. The next 5 years flew by as I continued my own education and moved up the ladder in my teaching career. The girls were going to Holy Redeemer & the years were good but incredibly busy for all 3 of us.

Out of no where, I became sick... really sick. This time in our lives was so incredibly scary and stressful. However, not only was Caitlin Rose my strength when she was born, she was my full fledged Angel during this time as well. She was so strong and mature. She even helped take care of me when the doctor sent me home with a PICC line and IV antibiotics! I think this experience inspired her to go into medicine, so I guess that is the silver lining of that whole crazy ordeal.

The silver lining in my illness, well that's easy. Now, for the first time in my daughter's life since she was 9 months old, I get to be a stay-at-home mom and focus on my girls. It took me a long time to see the plus side of staying home because I was so lost when I had to stop teaching. However, moving to WV and spending the past year focusing on my family and my writing has easily been the best year of my life.

Caitlin Rose, Happy 13th Birthday!! I hope this year is the best year, so far, of your life. I promise to do my best to make sure it is and all I ask in return is your happiness. I love you more than I could ever explain, but I figured I'd try anyway. LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH BABY =)

Praying for a chance...

It's no secret I, now, have horrible credit. The wonderful thing about our government & its attempt to save money. They put sick people on disability, because they are sick. Then, they make them wait 2 years before they can receive Medicare. So, said sick person is uninsured for 2 years. Meaning, no doctor will see said patient therefore they rack up hospital bills galore in those 2 years! I am that unfortunate statistic. Add to that, I fell in love with a 20 something with no credit and we've had a heck of a time getting our lives together started!

We were blessed last year by our wonderful landlord, Kristen. Who, gave us a chance even though we had bad/no credit. We've paid our rent on time this entire year & began slowly building our credit up.

Today, we were approved for our truck! No money down & payments that aren't as bad as you'd think for bad/little credit barring people.

So, thank you Lord for giving us yet another blessing & start to our lives together. Next step, buying our dream home (the one we already live in, btw;)

4 more days!! Just 4 more days!

Omg, is anyone else praying constantly that they survive these last few days of summer?? It can't be normal to pray 10 times a day Not to beat your children!?!

I can easily see how someone with substance abuse problems or mental illness go over the edge when it comes to children because they are really great at taking you there. It's so hard for a mostly-sane person, like myself to stand at the edge, smile at my children and calmly walk around them...not pushing them over and walk back to safe ground.

Ugh....4 more days people! 4 more days!

Gratitude journal entry 4- what animal are you grateful for?

What animal are you grateful for?
How do they make your life better?

Well, the answer to that question is easy... I am grateful for kackerot aka Buddy

He has improved my life in fun, happy & even serious ways. Aside from being absolutely adorable, he is also the most intuitive dog I've ever met. He can sense when I am sick & has even barked to wake me up last year when I was having my heart issues at night in my sleep. I swear one night, he literally saved my life when he woke me up in the middle of the night. Luckily, I have my heart medicine to take care of me at night now.

So, kackerot is free to roam the house, comforting whichever human needs him the most. Both of my girls call him into their beds if they have a bad dream at night. Even yesterday, when ms. Briley wasn't feeling well, kackerot, was on duty...kissing her every 20 minutes making sure she was ok.

The most adorable thing he does, aside from sit on my lap, despite his non-lapdog size, is when we take walks. He walks without a leash. After he runs off to do his business, he runs back to my side and literally runs at my feet while looking up at me the whole time. As if he's saying, thank you, thank you. If we have a stroller with us on the walk, he even runs beside the baby giving air kisses the whole way home.

Kackerot is the epitome of a loyal, grateful dog with owners that love to spoil his well-deserving demeanor. He is awesome!

Love you Buddy! And, I'm beyond grateful for you, today & everyday. Now, let's go for a run!

Missed sunset

I missed the sunset this evening & by the looks of the pink clouds, it was a beautiful one! At least, I have a good excuse. I've been writing like a mad woman all evening. Caitlin is at a sleepover, Madi has a friend over and Fraz is in the dog house..therefore he's cleaning/rearranging the basement for me. So, I'm making the best use of my very seldom time alone & writing away. It seems those missing 2000 words were meant to go missing because it forced me to re-read a chapter that highly needed some rearranging. Now, the suspense is better and further drawn out and you love the main character a little longer than you should ;)

Ok, break time over... I've shared the after sunset & judging by the sound of the crickets...it's time for me to get back to work.

Goodnight blogtopia ;)

Please visit this site and help out my daughter!!! Thanks =)

http://www.gofundme.com/3x6i88

Rain rain go away!!

Now that I've moved my exercise bike outside almost all forms of exercise, for me, are outside... so booooo to rain!

You make me sleep in late. I can't see when I'm driving when you're around and now that my garden has been taken over by weeds.. I really see no point for you whatsoever! Go back to wherever you came from and let the sun out of captivity...
thank you,
your worse enemy

48 pages and 24,568 words later.....

I'm feeling incredibly accomplished today. As some of you may or may not know, my fiancé broke my computer a few weeks ago causing me to lose ALL of my writings!! Luckily, I am very old-fashioned and do all of my rough drafts by hand...(not sure why, but a crazy dream, an empty journal and a jagged pencil are where my stories begin)

Soooo.. the past few weeks I have been RE-typing my entire first draft for the second time!! But, this one is definitely going to be worth it!! My latest novel is about a married woman that gets a creepy, all-knowing craigslist stalker from the MISSED CONNECTION section of the site. It is a mystery, erotica, thriller... it's 50 shades meets Alex Cross meets Choked meets Gone Girl!!

Best news?? 48 pgs & 24k words later and I am finally done typing my first draft!! Now comes the hard work... editing, adding all the details and editing some more before I can actually send it off to the real editor ;)

Happy Monday ;)

irrational fears

It's 7:00am on Monday morning and I still haven't heard from Jonathon. He usually gets home before 6 and always texts around 4 (his second break) to let me know how much longer he has to work. Well, it's one of those crazy mornings where he obviously is very busy working late. This happens so seldom, that when it does my mind always wanders to the darkest places.

I was just wondering... does anyone else have these irrational fears when their loved ones are late? When you can't get in touch with someone, do you worry? I'm sure everyone worries a little... but, for me... it's always the worst case scenario... like, he's been in a car accident, dead, left me for a hot 20 something in the middle of the night and eventually... he's been abducted by aliens!!

Well, let's hope he contacts me soon before I start calling NASA!!

Happy Monday

I had a crazy weekend filled with a trip to the ER for another transfusion, a girls afternoon out yesterday to the casino and some camping in the backyard with my daughters for a fun mini-vaca before school starts. Caitlin had a big weekend as well. She had her physical for cheer and has try-outs today and tomorrow. She is hoping to, again, make varsity and remain a flyer. Madi had the grid-o-rama games on Saturday that she cheered. I forgot the thing I like least about rec-cheer... rainy football games!! So, as you can see we all had a crazy busy weekend. No wonder we all passed out last night around 8 o'clock!! Hence, why I am awake right now (4:30am)!!

So, let me be the first to say to you.... Happy Monday!!
 Let this week be filled with productivity and fun!!
As for most, it is the last full week of summer!!
Ahhh... the bittersweet end of summer.
Are you ready??

What are 3 personality traits you are grateful for in others?

My boyfriend, Jonathon, is ten years younger than me but, in some ways, so much more mature! Three traits I'm grateful for in him??

1) Patient- although I am patient when it comes to children(particularly the ones under 5 because their behavior is so innocent). Jonathon is patient with everything! He has the patience of a saint when it comes to the daily drama that unfolds between the girls. I don't think he'd survive without it & for this I'm beyond grateful.

2) kind- it's hard to find a human that it is naturally, constantly non-judgmental. However, Jonathon is just that. I've mentioned before that I strive to be as compassionate as I can, but there are times (usually about one a month when my hormones get the best of me) that I even slip up and take things personal and Jonathon always manages to show me the other side and calm me down. I'm lucky to have such an honestly nice man in my life.

3) consistent- there are many things he does that get on my very last nerve, as many of you know. However, at least he does them consistently and he is, for the most part, predictable. I don't think I could even define the word consistent before Jonathon was in our lives, but his consistency has grounded all of us. My spontaneity mixed with his consistency makes a good balance that I am very grateful for!

What are 3 personality traits in others you are grateful for?

What am I grateful for this particular evening?

Tonight I am so grateful my beautiful daughters are home. Only 5 days gone, but I couldn't have missed them more.

This is the reason for such a short post this evening. However, I'll be back tomorrow. So, if you want to tell me what you're grateful for.. I'll be happy to chat tomorrow.

To those friends that have been responding to these posts on my old blog, through email or via Facebook... thank you! But, let's make this blog the central discussion board. It's getting difficult keeping up with up with all the different blogs and write my novel. So, I'm trying to condense all my favorite topics. I hope it works and I don't lose anyone along the way because I absolutely love talking with you all.

Goodnight ;)

What are you the MOST grateful for??

 

Thought I'd share my bedroom wall and some of the silly paintings I've done. You can also see my answer & how serious I am about the concept of LOVE. One of my biggest struggles in life, as is for most, learning how to truly love and accept myself. Once I was able to truly love myself, loving other people and accepting others love was so much easier!! It's amazing how we can go through life walking in circles, making the same mistakes over and over until we really learn this concept. I know I am far from perfect. I am a work in progress just like everyone else. However, I accept my flaws and try to forgive myself when I make mistakes. I mean, if you can't love you, who else will?? right?

Sooooo..... Tonight's Journal Entry... What are you the MOST grateful for??

I am most grateful for... LOVE!!!
The many people whom I love
The people who love me
The love that I finally found for myself
For the love that I see all around me
... in couples
... in families
... in the eyes of children
... in the old couple holding hands
... the couple dancing on the dance floor, unashamed, yet dancing by themselves
... first loves
... true loves
... unconditional loves
 and everything in between.

Thank You God for Love!!!

Unconditional Universal Love

I've been itching for a new tattoo, but as I get older, it becomes increasingly more important that my tattoos...everything I do for that matter, must mean something.

So, piggybacking on last night's journal entries comment about compassion (if I could only teach my daughter's one thing it'd be compassion), I'm thinking I want my next tattoo to represent that very idea.
What better way to truly have compassion than to have unconditional universal love? I can think of none either. Having unconditional love alone is such a great task to undertake. But, having unconditional love for all humans... that is the real goal, right?

We should all have true love in our hearts for ourselves and everyone we meet and even those we don't. I'm in no way saying I've reached this perfection in my heart yet, but I am trying. What better way to remind myself of my most important goal than get it permanently written on my wrist?

So... which of my whacky designs do you like? Better yet, any artists out there have another idea? The basic concept is u.u.l. for unconditional universal love. Or, perhaps I'll just write out all the words in cursive somewhere? What do you think? About the tattoo or the concept in general?

Ms Briley's big day!

Today we worked hard with the walker! She loved having independence & wore herself out! She's been sleeping all afternoon ;)

Ms. Briley

For the past few weeks, I have been doing physical and speech therapy with Ms. Briley. This 3 year old girl (in the pictures above) is so special in so many ways! Not only does she have a super rare, partial chromosome 21 deletion (one of only 3 known patients with this particular deletion) she is one of a kind in so many other ways. She is so sweet, funny, silly, and so well behaved. Not only is she super fun to hang out with because of all of those awesome qualities, she is also super smart as well. We are working hard to help her communicate with others. So, everyone can soon know just how smart she is and we are working hard to help her walk on her own when school starts at the end of this month.

I just wanted to take a minute and introduce you to Ms. Briley because I always have fun stories and pictures when we hang out together that I would love to share, but know needed some context. I think my good friend Anna put it perfectly when she said that Briley and I needed each other!

As many of you know, I was watching my sisters babies full-time this year for 7 months and my sister just recently found day-care closer to home since the baby is getting older now. So, not only am I helping Briley, she is helping me as well.

My friend Sarah said that Briley is lucky to have someone like me (who can intuitively read children's minds & has a lot of patience) but, honestly, I feel like the lucky one when I get to hang out with her. Even when she is not around, I catch myself smiling when I think back to funny & cute things she did when we were working together.

I love you, Ms Briley, and you did wonderful today with your walker (In the pictures above) I know you enjoyed the independence so much and hopefully we'll have you ready for school soon =)

What are 3 of your personality traits you are grateful for?

This month the journal entry theme is...  GRATITUDE

So, tonight's journal question...
What are 3 of your personality traits you are grateful for? Why?

My answer...

1) creative- I don't know what I would do with myself if I wasn't creative. I think I would be incredibly bored with life if I couldn't paint, write, cook, bake or create something! Even when I was teaching, all of my lesson plans were infused with creativity. Even though I do believe everyone has the ability to be creative, I'm grateful that I'm not embarrassed to embrace mine ;)

2) compassionate- I am super grateful that I've always had the natural ability to see the world through other people's eyes. Obviously, the world would be a better place if everyone had more compassion. However, on a personal level, I'm grateful that it comes natural to me. It saves me allot of unnecessary stress being able to understand that everyone has their own story, their own issues and not to take everything so personal. If I could only teach my girls one thing, it would be compassion!

3) funny- the most imperative trait for survival through all my trials and tribulations is my ability to laugh at life's irony and make others laugh when they want to cry ;)

What are three personality traits you are grateful for?

Tomato, mozzarella & basil pasta salad

Noodles
Fresh or store bought pesto
Tomatoes
Fresh mozzarella
Chopped basil leaves

I'm usually a firm believer in eating hot foods hot & cold foods cold. However, this is a pasta you will want to eat cold! Which is the reason I'm calling it pasta salad.

It's a simple enough meal, especially if you are like me and always have some refrigerated cooked pasta ready for whatever.

If not, then start with cooking noodles of your choice. Drain & mix with pesto sauce. Refrigerate/chill for at least 30 minutes. Once the pasta is cold, mix with chopped tomatoes, mozzarella, & fresh basil. Sprinkle with a little salt & garlic to taste & yum...enjoy ;)

Breakfast of champions (& dessert lovers)

Nothing healthier can curb a sweet tooth craving like fresh fruit. Those of you that know me, know I have the worst sweet tooth...well teeth really! So, I try to get a jump on it first thing in the morning. After I have my handful of various gummy vitamins (great excuse to eat candy for breakfast, by the way), I make myself this delicious and nutritious breakfast...

Fresh strawberries, cleaned & sliced
Fresh blueberries, raspberries and/or blackberries
Fresh green/red and/or black grapes
Top with your favorite flavor Greek yogurt (mine is the yoplait coconut flavor...hard to find...totally worth it!)

Of course, you can modify this recipe to your personal taste. The basis of it is fresh fruit of your choice with yummy, high protein Greek yogurt. Protein is excellent at burning fat & making you feel full. So, if you use Greek yogurt, you can skip the fattening granola topping that most recipes include. Making this recipe low fat, delicious & nutritious... win, win, win!

My secret... shhh...

... well, one of them anyway... I may have a few ;)

My secret?? I am 33 years old.. (& no, that's not the secret.. shocking, I know... but, not the secret;)

I'm 33 years old and for the first time in my life, yes the first time in my life... I'm not scared to be home alone at night. It probably sounds crazy & perhaps it is, but I have always lived with someone and rarely have stayed home alone at night. I mean, I went from my moms house to living with my ex-husband at 17 and I became a mother at 20 years old. I was such a paranoid first time mother, I didn't even let the girls stay with anyone overnight for years! Once they did start having play dates and sleepovers with family, I always made the most of my evening off by going out with friends or out on a date. I mean, we did live in the ghetto for 12 years and I never would have admitted it while I was there, but being alone in that neighborhood, in that house, was frightening.

It's true, the girls and I lived alone for a bit. However, the girls always made me feel safe. I know that sounds even more crazy because they are just little girls, but I always know I'm safe with them. They are both such incredible and amazing creations of God, I knew he'd always keep them safe. Therefore, if I am caring for them, I am needed. So, I was safe as well. Not to mention, I always had to make them feel safe as well and you know the saying.. when you fake something long enough, you feel it. So, my motherhood bravery overruled my fears when the girls were around.

So, why am I bothering to reveal this embarrassing secret now?? Well, my daughters are out of town for a few days. They are staying with family in MD & although I miss them like crazy!! I was, admittedly, bored out of mind this afternoon. However, with Jonathon leaving for work this evening, I am feeling relaxed and ready for bed. I'm not worried about being alone.. I am relishing in it!! I finally feel safe in my home and in my life. I left behind so much drama in MD that WV is not only physically safer, it is absolutely serene for my soul!!

Please, if you have stopped by to read my secret.. let me know I'm not alone!! Are there any other parents (especially mothers) that don't really know who they are or what to do without their children?? Any other adults, without kids, that have always lived with someone (parents to roommates to spouse) and still get the hebee-gebees when you're home alone overnight??

If you can't relate... you, at the very least, owe me a secret of yours =)

The reason children inspire me.......

...their natural ability to always be present!!

Why do you think it is so easy for children to have fun and see wonder around them, constantly? Because it is impossible for them to be anywhere but in the Now. They do not dwell on yesterday or worry about tomorrow. We should all inspire to be more like children. I know, I do. This doesn't mean that you don't Learn from your past and Plan for your future. Those are obviously important as well. Living in the Now means you refuse to dwell or worry so much that you forget to enjoy what is before you in this very moment.

It can be easy for us to walk through the world and our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are common pastimes, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but the present moment. We cannot step out our front door and take a left turn to May of last year, any more than we can take a right turn to December 2014. Nevertheless, we can easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to. We then spend the rest of our time playing “catch up” to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.

In order to feel more at home in the present moment, it is important to try to stay aware, open, and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

When we begin to corral our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that can take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn’t have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren’t busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past.

Life happens to us when we happen to live in the Now.

 

My absolute favorite lunch...hands down!

Easy, simple and super fresh.

No other lunch gives me quite as much energy as this one!

Fresh garden tomatoes
Fresh basil leaves
Fresh mozzarella cheese
Fresh pressed garlic
salt & pepper (to taste)

You can't wrong with a lunch that includes All fresh ingredients..YUM!

3 Reasons I get up so early

So many of my friends think I'm crazy for getting up before the sun every morning. The reasoning, however, is quiet simple...

1) the energy you receive from actually watching the sunrise is incredible and stronger than any coffee I've tried (& trust me, I've tried them all)

2) I have children, like most of my friends. Two brilliant preteen girls with so many wonderful ideas and thoughts. These ideas and thoughts naturally fly from their mouths the second they wake up! Lucky for them, right? I, on the other hand, need an hour or so of coffee and silence before I can even begin to keep up with them! I got tired of hearing myself say, 'don't talk to me until my coffee kicks in!' And just decided to beat the curve and be ready whenever they woke up.

3) I love to run/walk and there is no better time, in the summer, than at dawn. Even in the winter, I've set my treadmill up facing the window that shows the sunrise. The only thing better than watching the sunrise?? Rising, or exercising, with it!

Simply put, every day has the potential for greatness & for me, personally, I only stand a chance to keep up with this greatness if I'm really ready & I'm only really ready if I spend at least an hour every morning in solitude getting my thoughts together. Whether that be, on my deck with a hot cup of coffee or, literally, running to dunkin donuts for an iced coffee, it's always with the sunrise and it's always worth it!

Never once have I said, I shouldn't have gotten up so early this morning. However, vice versa?? I'm sure we've all regretted those days the world is spinning before we are ready! So, to avoid those, I get up before the crack of dawn as often as physically possible!

The Beast

No one can compete with my man when it comes to a food challenge. We just spent our date night at the Skybox at Charles town races & casino. Jonathon took the beast challenge and crushed 3 lbs of meat, a pound of fries & 5 pickles (which he doesn't even like, mind you)..

In return, won his 23 dollar meal free, a 'I slayed the beast' t-shirt and his picture displayed on their wall and website. The waitress waited until he had successfully completed the meal to tell him she'd never actually seen anyone succeed....oops

Luckily, my man is a beast and rose to the challenge and even shared a blizzard with me for dessert on the way home! Congrats Piggy! You did great... and don't worry.. we need not complete any physical activity this evening as I'm not exactly turned on by your eating..
impressed? Indeed..
...horny? Not so much ;)

Love you though

Having said all that...

Today's run ;)

Why I run?

 The answer is simple... because I can!!

4 years ago, I was diagnosed with sickle-beta-thal anemia and after much resistance had to retire from teaching because of the amount of germs in schools and the high pressure of a full-time career (one, mind you, that you cannot half-heart and leave in the building at the end of the day)

Teaching was my passion, my life and I was completely blown aback after I finally complied and tried the whole "stay-at-home" mom thing. I was depressed, bored and overall just felt useless. Add to that, I was turning 30 that year and I decided I had to get out of bed and stop sleeping my troubles away. I began to run, simply because it was the only thing left for me to do that kept me feeling young and alive (aside from my girls of course, but they went to school for 8 hours a day!) So, to sum it all up.. I don't run to stay fit or even to stay healthy (as sometimes I even get myself into trouble running too much especially in extreme weather) I run because I can!! So many people, like me, that are on disability and have a life sentence of illness instead of success physically cannot run.. and I can.. so I do and I will continue to run, as much as possible until the doctors completely forbid it too. 

Date night

Well, the kids (both mine & my sister's) are off to spend the weekend at grandma's house. Yes, let me repeat this because it's a statement so seldom said by me : my house is completely and totally kid free until Monday!

So, how will Jonathon & I be spending our romantic adult weekend? Well, here you have it... he is snoring at my side, nevertheless securing the remote control!
Silver lining... What is better than having no kids distracting my many creative thoughts and plans?? Having no one to distract me! I think I can safely tap that power button on the remote & get to work writing.

Sweet dreams blogtopia ;?

Macklemore #same love

You know that hilarious new artist that sings the thrift shop song. Well, Jonathon just came home from work excited by the song he heard on the radio. He was determined to find the video on youtube for me because he was sure I would love it. Sometimes that man impresses me in ways I never imagined, because he was 100 percent right. I get depressed when I hear hip hop going down the drain.. rappers with nothing to talk about but the large amounts of money they spend on ridiculous toys. When thrift shop came on the radio, it was as if this guy had read my mind and was mocking everything I hate about lame songs promoting consumerism. Another one of my pet peeves and long standing heart breaks is how unaccepted the gay community is in hip hop. So many hip hop artists are in the closet and therefore feel the need to gay bash to defend themselves against the rumors. In a world where being gay has become increasingly more acceptable, even in the eye of the law, hip hop has still not opened its heart to this community. So, on behalf of all gay supporters in the world, thank you macklemore for once again writing a song that addresses what all intelligent people have been thinking for so long. No one can choose who they love and more importantly NO ONE has the right to tell others who they should or should not love.

"You can't change... even if you want to..." but guess what?? We still ACCEPT YOU!!!

Where are we BeBe?

So, I jokingly said to the dog... don't worry buddy they will be going home tomorrow, about the kids and sully says, ''where are we BeBe?'' Man, he breaks my heart sometimes... it must be so confusing for him to have spent so much time here & having his parents move into his grandma's house...poor baby doesn't know what to call home anymore. Good news, he is very loved in his many homes so, as I always say... things could be much worse!

Before and after

Keep in mind..the before picture (in the dress, at the salon) was right after I showered & the after picture was in the bathroom after a day at the beach..right before bed. So far, I Love my new hair cut!! I promise to upload a better one as soon as I play with it some more. It's amazing what some layers can do for naturally curly hair! Thanks Jess at the haircuttery! You have given me hope in the hair cuttery in general. thank you for not chopping your fingers.. true story!

Abbadoozabbaaaa!

Sully's version of a magical spell ;)

Mr. Kackerot

Weird name...absolutely... I think it's after some pokemon character or something else that you get when you start dating a practically teenage boy (for official record..he was legal..barely...but legal) anyway, dumb name... however, best most cute, sweet, lovable, loving dog in the world!!

This crazy monkey!!

The girls left to go swimming with their friends. Peyton finally passed out (thank you God!), Fraz is off to work. So, tonight it's just me and this crazy monkey who is playing the theme song to his favorite song over and over while jumping on the couch! Hmm...he doesn't seem to even know I'm here? Wonder if I could get some writing done tonight??

All in all

Our day at the lake with Peyton and sully was a blast. The girls spent 3 hours in the water tossing sully around & me and Peyton hung out in the sun people watching. It was relaxing, drama free & all and all FUN!

And the eldest...

Equally as cute...somewhat better behaved...when they want to be!

The second children....

Are cute....but not so well behaved!

Guess what I'm doing??

Pooping for the 3rd time at the beach! Yup, that's my Peyton Grace..poopy mcpooperson!!

The perpetual bun!

Although this is a very cute picture of my niece and nephew passed out at the movies two days ago, the real reason for this picture is to show you my perpetual bun look because my hair is far too long and boring... today is the day I'm finally getting it cut so I'm hoping I'll be posting a super cute picture later of a much more curly trendy do! Wish me luck!

My biggest fan

Two weeks ago my boyfriend decided to take apart my computer to clean it. As I'm sure you can guess, he was unable to put it back together correctly so. .. not only was I left with no computer, I lost all my most recent writing in whati know will be my best novel yet. Thank God I'm old fashioned and have my first draft written by hand in a journal. So, yesterday I wake up to a new Dell Windows 8 touch screen laptop on my bed, courtesy of my biggest fan and not so bright computer cleaner guy...my boyfriend, Jonathon. Thanks baby! I promise to write like crazy now that I can finally write in bed (where I ironically get my best ideas) I love you, I love my new computer and I love writing!!

Anything more natural...

Than a baby sleeping on your chest? I don't think so either!

Another day in paradise??

Guess now would be good a time as any to tell you all I have sickle beta thalassemia anemia. I have lots of fun, mostly sad stories to go with my illness. Today, however, is a normal one. I went to the doctor for a normal healthy check up and he sends me to the ER for a blood transfusion :( my daughter, being the normal selfish 10 year old she is, complained the entire time about how bored she is. Guess it'll be the last time she goes to my doctor with me for the free lollipop?

good morning, indeed

When you see a sunrise like this, almost every morning is it not possible to have a spectacular day to match the spectacular view?? I believe so too! Pink sky, pink power, girl power!! We completely and totally need a girl power kind of day. Caitlin, Madi & Peyton Grace.. let's rock this day!! Sorry Jonathon, Sully and Kackerot.... today is our day... Girl power .. all day.. all the way!!!

Up before the crack of dawn

The wonderful thing about the crack of dawn...the crack..I mean, the sunrise..which sitting on my deck I'm pretty sure is my sunrise! The scary thing about 'before' the crack of dawn.. the scary screaming animal in the field. We've yet to figure out what it is but it only comes out at night and screams like a possessed child in a horror movie! So strange....

Come on coffee...Come on Sun....
I'm pretty sure my blog this far is no fun!

Kackerot

Our sweet Pit/Rot mix is 3 years old and as spoiled as they come. He sleeps with whomever needs him the most and this evening, my nephew, Sully had a bad dream and kackerot didn't hesitate to crawl down on the floor with him! (Somewhere you won't often find our dog that doesn't know he's a dog ;)

Horse farm

Looking off our back deck to the horse farm

My backyard

Part of the backyard during sunset

My serenity

What better way to begin than by showing you the 3 things that inspire me and calm me the most... Caitlin Rose, Madi Love and of course...my deck